


U-Turn

by IsolaVirtuosa



Category: Naruto
Genre: Canon Divergent AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:32:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27656885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsolaVirtuosa/pseuds/IsolaVirtuosa
Summary: Naruto's pretty sure he's straight.
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 28
Kudos: 160
Collections: Extraordinary SNS Fics💕





	U-Turn

****\- 10 -** **

I didn’t even know that they had reached a verdict in Sasuke’s trial when I opened my door to find him standing there.

“But… how…?” I trailed off, staring at what must have been a mirage.

“They released me,” he said with a shrug.

I felt my mouth fall open, but no words came out.

“Can I come in?” he asked irritably.

“I, uh, yeah, of course, of course,” I said, standing aside.

He pushed past me, kicking off his shoes and making a beeline for the living room. He closed the curtains with a harsh tug, his eyes stuck in a seemingly permanent squint. I had fought with Kakashi for days over how keeping him blindfolded wasn’t right, _because something about light deprivation_ that Sakura had painstakingly explained to me but I just couldn’t remember.

No one listened to me about anything.

I’d also been removed from the proceedings for being too ‘emotional’ and ‘disruptive’.

And now it was all over, and Sasuke was here.

He sat on the couch, an arm tossed over his eyes like it was still too bright for him here in the dark.

I felt myself drawn to him. I moved slowly, letting him feel me coming before I leaned over the back of the couch and wrapped both arms around him, stub and all.

He breathed out heavily.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” I said quietly, leaning in closer and pressing my cheek to his.

He swallowed. “I…” he started to say, and stopped, his arm dropping from his eyes as he leaned back into me.

I couldn’t help but grin, squeezing him tightly.

Sasuke’s eyes met mine and his cheeks flushed. “Enough,” he muttered.

I bumped my forehead to his, then backed away. “Do you need anything? Are you hungry? Oh, you know what, we should have a party! We could get everyone together and-”

“No.”

“Whaaaat?” I protested, climbing over the back of the couch and sitting next to him. “But you’ve been in prison for like months, and you’re finally free and you can do all the things that you missed out on!”

“I didn’t miss out on anything,” he said flatly.

“But everyone-”

“My head hurts and I just want to be here with you, okay?”

“I, uh, yeah, I mean… yeah, okay,” I said, not sure how to take that, but overall feeling happy. I just felt right when Sasuke was next to me.

We were both quiet, but it didn’t feel strained. Since the Valley of the End, our relationship had gotten easy. Late night talks in the hospital faded into daily visits to his holding cell. We’d probably spent more quality time together in the last year than we had in total the previous seventeen years.

“You can finish that book,” he finally said, eyes closed and his head leaned back.

“Ah-HA, so you do like it,” I said, grinning. I had been reading Sasuke an assortment of books during his blind imprisonment, and the latest had been what I had assumed to be a cheesy teen romance recommended by Sakura, but had ended up being a really interesting mystery that also happened to have a surprisingly engaging romantic plot.

“It’s fine,” he said with a shrug, because Sasuke could never say anything nice about anything or anyone.

I bounded off to my room to pull the book from my ‘prison visit bag’ that I suddenly realized I wouldn’t need anymore. I grinned, coming back to flop on the couch and cracking the book open to start reading. I realized it was too dark to read, so I flipped on the table lamp.

Sasuke kept his eyes closed, but his posture seemed to relax the longer I read.

I found my eyes darting over the book to watch him, so close I could reach out and touch him if I wanted. Sasuke was really here, and I could feel myself smiling stupidly.

I tried to focus on reading, but I was starting to spend more time staring, and Sasuke finally caught on, eyes drifting open to meet mine.

Those eyes were mesmerizing.

“You stopped reading,” he observed drily.

“Nuh-uh,” I said.

His lips quirked into a crooked smile. “You definitely did.”

“You stopped reading!” I declared.

The smile evened out, soft and secretive. “Idiot. Pick up where you left off.”

“Who is the idiot here?” I grumbled. Then I startled as I felt a squeeze around my hand.

Sasuke’s eyes were closed again. “I like hearing your voice,” he said quietly, already reclaiming his hand like he hadn’t just reached out.

I swallowed. It was one thing to have the new-and-improved, vulnerable and now-fifty-percent-more-honest Sasuke in front of me but out of my reach due to a set of iron bars. It was quite another to have him sitting on my couch. I wanted to move heaven and earth for him, but I settled for reading him some fiction instead.

We finished the book.

Sasuke slowly unsank from the couch, eyes blinking open. “Thanks,” he said, standing up and stretching. His nub of a left arm barely reached over his head.

“Anything for my felon best friend,” I said, standing up, too, since that seemed to be what we were doing. “Are you hungry? You sure you don’t want to see anyone else?”

“God, no,” he said, which I assumed was his reply to the second question. He did look a little thin, though. “I just don’t want to think for a while, okay?”

“How does one not think?” I asked.

“I don’t know, I just watch you and copy whatever you’re doing.”

“Jerk,” I said, giving him a playful shove.

He definitely looked like he wanted to shove me back, but he somehow restrained himself. “Naruto.”

“Yes?” I said, standing at attention.

“I know you said I could stay if I got out…”

“ _When_ you got out,” I corrected him.

He half-smiled at that. When had he started doing that? I hoped Sakura didn’t see because she claimed to be over him and didn’t need to be having any relapses. “Yes, well, here we are.”

“Here we are indeed,” I agreed.

“You don’t have to feel obligated.”

“I don’t.”

“I mean it.”

“I know.”

“Naruto.”

“Sasuke.”

He looked at me.

“I want you here,” I said. “I need you here,” I correct myself.

“Lame,” he muttered, but there was that crooked half-smile again.

“Stay as long as you need,” I said firmly.

And he did.

****\- 9 -** **

Sasuke was simultaneously an amazing and terrible house guest.

He was always picking up after me, which made my apartment really clean, but also resulted in me never knowing where anything was.

He also cooked for me, which was delicious and nutritious, but the lack of cup noodles was a little depressing.

He was always there for me to come home to, but I knew he was there because he had nowhere else to go, and I knew he wasn’t happy here.

It had been almost five months now, and when I came clomping through the door, Sasuke already had dinner on the table.

“Hi, honey, I’m home!” I chirped, snagging a piece of fried chicken from the table and munching on it as I moved towards my room to dump my bag.

“Wash your hands,” Sasuke grumbled after me.

I was starting to think that living with Sasuke was probably what having a mother would be like, if said mother low-key couldn’t stand me.

“I don’t hear running water!” he yelled when I had dallied too long.

“Yeah, and I’m touching everything I possibly can!” I yelled back. We did enjoy pissing each other off.

Sasuke was scowling at his rice bowl when I came back.

“All nice and clean,” I said, waggling my fingers at him. The fingers of the prosthetic were a little stiff as I did so, but Tsunade had said the arm would start to feel more natural eventually.

“You’re a pig,” he muttered, picking up the bowl and starting to eat.

“Yep” I agreed, picking up my own bowl and shoveling in as much food as could fit in my mouth.

He sneered at me.

I grinned.

There was the smallest uptick at the corner of his mouth.

I couldn’t stand to look at him anymore, so I focused on eating instead.

“I’ve got a place,” he said suddenly.

I opened my mouth to protest, but it was stuffed with food.

“Disgusting,” he growled at me.

I informed him that he shouldn’t just spring stuff on me while I was eating, but I don’t think he understood a word of it.

Or he was just pretending not to understand.

I swallowed the last of the food in my mouth as loudly and dramatically as possible. “I told you that you can just stay here.”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because we’re best friends!”

“What does that have to do with anything?” he asked, seeming to actually be getting annoyed now.

“Uhhh, because best friends being roommates is awesome?” I said.

That seemed to irritate him even more. “I’m not really interested in being your live-in butler.”

“You’re not-” I started to say, but that was actually pretty accurate.

“Realized the truth, then?”

“It’s not like I asked you to do all this stuff for me!” I protested.

“It’s just that you’re a lazy, pathetic slob, and I have no choice as long as I’m here if I want to maintain my personal dignity?”

“You’re an asshole,” I complained.

“Naruto, really, really think hard about who the asshole is in this situation.”

I thought about it really, really hard. “Shit, is it me?”

Sasuke swallowed down a smile.

His eyes wouldn’t meet mine, so I leaned into his vision.

The whole smile came out, lighting up his face.

“Why are you so good-looking?” I complained.

He quickly looked away again. “Jealous?” he muttered.

“Yes!” I exclaimed.

“Good,” he grumbled.

“Sasuke, don’t go.”

“I already put down my first month’s rent.”

“Why would you go and do that?!” I cried.

“You’re a big boy, Naruto,” he said, looking down his nose at me. “I’m sure you can live by yourself.”

“Yeah, but I don’t want to,” I said. “I like living with you, even if you’re a nag.”

‘A nag?’ he mouthed at me.

“I mean, you’re super uptight and obsessive combustive or whatever, but you’re pretty alright sometimes,” I said, trying to sound casual.

“You’re ridiculous,” he informed me, going back to eating like the conversation was over.

And it was.

He moved out the next day.

“This is dumb,” I told him as I dumped the one and only box of things he had from my apartment on the floor of his new place.

“You’re dumb,” he answered easily.

“You don’t even have any pots and pans!” I said, gesturing around. “How are you going to eat?”

“You have literally one pot, Uzumaki,” he said, shaking his head.

“I have TWO!” I yelled.

“I don’t count the rusty one.”

“Why not?”

“How have you survived this long living on your own?” he asked, shaking his head.

“Very well, thank you!” I snapped.

“Naruto,” he said, shaking his head harder.

It always gave me a strange thrill when he said my name.

Somehow we ended up getting take out, sitting on the floor of Sasuke’s semi-furnished apartment and passing a bottle of cheap wine between us that Kakashi had given Sasuke as a housewarming gift.

It got late and the bottle got empty, so I made myself at home on Sasuke’s futon.

“Why are we still living together?” he complained, nudging me with his foot to get me to slide over onto the second futon that he set out. “I specifically moved out so we wouldn’t be living together anymore.”

“I like living with you,” I whined, kicking my feet around to show my protest.

“You’re a child,” Sasuke said, throwing a blanket over me and getting into his own futon.

“Sasukeeee,” I complained, creeping over to him and snuggling in close.

“Knock it off,” he muttered, turning his face from me.

“Jerk,” I said, closing my eyes and starting to drift. It was possible that I was mildly intoxicated.

“Naruto, move,” Sasuke said, startling me awake as he pushed me away.

“Neveeeeeer,” I complained, attaching myself onto him tightly.

His face whipped around to glare at me, and then our faces were just right there in front of each other, inches apart. Whatever he was going to snap at me died on his lips.

I snorted at that. If he could only see his face. He looked so uncool at that moment, and it was a memory I wanted to treasure forever. I leaned in closer, feeling the heated skin of his forehead against mine.

Sasuke’s breath caught and his eyes locked onto mine. There was something… hopeful… in his eyes.

I could feel myself going soft, reaching out my hand to rest against his cheek.

Then he pressed his lips to mine, warm and gentle.

It was just a brief touch and then it was over.

I shook my head at him, smiling.

It was like a signal, and suddenly his lips were back and it was much more than a simple touch, it was full of need and want and other nameless things, and what had I just done?

“Sasuke,” I said gently.

His mouth paused against mine.

“Sas’, I’m not gay,” I said, patting his cheek.

He stared at me.

I stared back evenly, trying to convey with my eyes that I was unbothered by this turn of events and still loved him like a brother.

He seemed to get the message, and he seemed to not like it very much, shoving me away and moving to make a run for it.

“Sasuke,” I repeated, grabbing his arm.

He turned back to look at me.

“It’s not a big deal,” I told him.

Something broke behind his eyes.

I realized that that had been the completely wrong thing to say.

He snatched his arm out of my grip and stormed out of the room.

“Sas’, come on,” I called, chasing after him. “This is _your_ house, so where are you going anyway?”

“Away from you!” he snapped, finally speaking for the first time.

“Okay, but… this is your house?” I tried again.

“Just fuck off, Naruto,” he said, and I could hear all the cracks in his voice.

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, I was definitely awake and sober now. What had I done? _What_ had I _done_? Oh shit.

“Go,” he said, his voice getting smaller and smaller. “Please just go.”

“Sasuke,” I tried one more time.

He was standing in front of the kitchen sink, his back to me, unmoving.

“This doesn’t change anything…” I tried, wondering if I was cutting him with every word. “You’re my best friend. I don’t care if-”

“Go,” he growled, strength returning to his voice even as his shoulders seemed to be shaking.

“I’m going,” I said, backing my way towards the door. “I’m going, okay? I just want it to be clear that I don’t actually want to go and am only doing so because you asked me to.”

He didn’t say anything else.

There was nothing for me to do but leave.

****\- 8 -** **

“Naruto, no,” Sakura said, shaking her head. “No, no, no, you did not leave him like that.”

“What else was I supposed to do?!” I cried, knocking my heels anxiously against the counter that I was sitting on.

“Anything!” she cried exasperatedly. “Just don’t leave!”

“Well I did leave, and that’s where I’m at, so can you please give me some advice?”

Sakura sighed loudly and dropped herself onto one of her kitchen chairs. “Naruto.”

“Yes?”

“Are you _sure_ you’re not gay?”

I looked at her. I hesitated.

Her expression perked up at that.

“I’m not gay,” I said quickly before she could get too excited. “I definitely like girls.”

“Okay, but you could be bi,” she pointed out.

“I don’t like guys,” I said with a shrug.

“Okay, but you like Sasuke.”

I let her words sit between us for a moment. “I can’t say clearly that I… I don’t know. As you love to point out, I talk about Sasuke all the time, I think about him all the time-”

“He’s basically your reason for existence.”

“…that’s fair.”

She smiled at that.

“Like, I get all that,” I said. “I get that our relationship isn’t normal. But there’s no… spark?”

“You two literally set each other on fire,” Sakura said, not buying it.

“It’s hard to explain,” I said, shaking my head. “But when he kissed me, it was warm and it was nice and all, but there was no spark. It wasn’t… I don’t know. If I was in love with him, wouldn’t I have felt something… _more_?”

“So what you’re saying, if I am getting this correctly, is that the warm, nice feelings that Sasuke gives you are nothing compared to the cheap sparks you feel with all your floozies?” Sakura asked, giving me an unfriendly look.

“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying,” I grumbled, glaring at her.

“Interesting how you started going on all these dates after Sasuke came to live with you,” she commented.

“Interesting how?”

She shrugged.

“After the trial was finally over, maybe that was the first time in my life that I had time to put myself first,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest and daring her to find fault with me just living my life for once.

“I…” she trailed off, shaking her head. “We all want you to be happy, Naruto. But really? Those underclassman girls? Couldn’t you find someone… better?”

“What’s wrong with them?!” I cried.

“They don’t have any… substance,” Sakura said. “They just like you because you’re the hero of Konoha; they don’t know anything about you.”

“That’s why we go on dates to get to know each other,” I explained to her.

“There are plenty of girls our age who like you, too, you know.”

“Yeah, but…” I trailed off. I didn’t know how to explain it without Sakura hitting me.

Her look turned suspicious.

“I just… need something different,” I said with a shrug. “I need… a break? I guess? Sometimes it’s nice to be around people who didn’t go through what we went through?”

Sakura was suddenly up on her feet and moving towards me.

I flinched.

“I’m not going to hit you, jerk,” she complained, punching me in the arm anyway.

I cringed, rubbing at the spot she’d hit.

“You want to be normal,” she said, her voice gentler now. “I get that. I do. Everything that’s happened the last few years… And then when it seemed like things were finally going to get better, all that stuff with Sasuke being arrested happened…”

We were both quiet at that. Sasuke’s arrest and confinement had been a sobering reminder that things were not right with the village. When I thought about how Sasuke had been mistreated, tortured even, and had just endured it so he could stay…

Everything always came back to Sasuke.

“You really aren’t gay?” Sakura asked, sounding almost hopeful.

“I’m not gay,” I affirmed.

“What are you going to do?”

“I came here to ask you that!” I cried.

“You’re the Sasuke-whisperer,” she said, shaking her head. “All I ever seem to do is make him annoyed.”

“The _Sasuke-whisperer_?” I repeated incredulously.

“He listens to you, even if he belittles you the whole while,” she said with a smile. Then her face went serious. “He loves you.”

That was a heavy word to throw into the conversation.

I dropped my head in my hands and yelled my frustration, kicking my feet anxiously against the cabinets.

Sakura rested her hand on my head, calming and soothing.

“His face…” I mumbled.

“What are you going on about?” Sakura asked.

I finally sat up properly and looked at her. “His face when I rejected him… I hurt him. I really, really hurt him, and I don’t know how to fix it.”

“He does have his pride.”

“Ughhh don’t remind me.”

“Just be your usual jackass self, and I’m sure things will go back to normal eventually,” she said, patting me on the head.

“You think so?”

“Yeah,” she said, climbing onto the counter and sitting next to me.

I leaned my head against hers, kicking my feet absently.

“It really doesn’t bother you, though?” she asked quietly.

“What?”

“That he likes you.”

“…no…?”

“It can be stressful on a friendship,” she said carefully.

“Are you trying to say something about my childish crush on you?”

“More about my childish crush on Sasuke, but that, too,” she agreed. “You could be so annoying, and it was uncomfortable.”

“Sorry,” I said, tapping her knee lightly. “I know. But it’s not like Sasuke’s anything like me, yeah? I mean, I act more like I have a crush on him than he acts like he has a crush on me.”

“That’s for sure,” Sakura snorted. “You really do. But I see it in him, you know? He’s just different with you. I think you don’t always notice, because how he acts when you’re around and how he acts when you’re not are completely different.”

“What, does he suddenly become a nice and charming guy?” I asked with my own snort.

She shook her head. “He’s… softer when he’s with you. He smiles more. His shoulders relax. When you two fight, he gets this wrinkle between his brows, and he finally looks young, he finally looks like the teenager he’s supposed to be. But when you’re not around, he’s just dark and… hard to approach. He has this impenetrable armor up that only comes down around you.”

I squinted at her. “And you don’t still have a crush on him, right?”

“What do you care?” she asked, rolling her eyes.

“Well you just seem to have put a lot of time and effort into your observations…”

“Don’t you keep like a diary about your Sasuke observations…?”

“That was for the trial!” I cried.

Sakura laughed.

I tried to laugh, but I felt tired and defeated. “Did I lead him on?”

“Yes,” she said flatly.

“Crap.”

“It’ll work out,” she assured me.

It didn’t work out.

****\- 7 -** **

It felt like we were twelve again.

“Is that all you’ve got?” Sasuke scoffed at me as he easily dodged my attack.

“It’s not even half of what I’ve got!” I roared as I chased after him.

He stopped mid-step, spinning around effortlessly and putting his sword to my neck.

I jerked myself back, leaning away from the glittering steel.

“Pathetic.”

“Is it?” I asked, my clone suddenly attacking from above.

“Absolutely,” he affirmed, taking his sword from my neck to slice through my clone.

It gave me the time to dive-bomb his legs.

Sasuke let out a grunt as we hit the ground, then took advantage of our momentum to flip me onto my back.

I got a foot free and kicked him in the stomach, sending him flying backwards.

Unfortunately, he had a grip on my leg, and I went flying with him.

We were a mess of fists and kicks and pain and blood, and I wasn’t quite sure when this training session had turned into a street brawl.

“What is wrong with you two?!” Sakura asked exasperatedly as she patched us up at the clinic.

“We were training,” Sasuke said, a sullen look on his face as he held a cold compress to his black eye.

“Is that what you call it?” she muttered, slathering the antibacterial ointment on my gaping sword wound with a little more roughness than seemed necessary.

“Owwww…” I whined.

She smacked me upside the head.

“You’re the worst doctor ever!” I cried.

“And you two are the worst patients!” she snapped back. “Why are you wasting my time with this juvenile nonsense?”

“We were training!” I protested.

“This is not normal training!” she yelled, smacking me again.

I stuck out my lower lip at her, rubbing my head.

“And don’t think I only blame this on the dumb blond!” Sakura said, turning her fury on Sasuke. “What were you thinking, using your sword on his prosthetic?! There could be permanent damage!”

Sasuke glared at her but didn’t speak.

“You’re being a child,” Sakura said, eyes locking with his.

Sasuke’s expression immediately transformed into rage, and I took a step back.

Sakura just raised an eyebrow. She had really grown in the last year and a half, and I was very impressed by it, which was the reason I was letting her stand between Sasuke and me now.

It wasn’t because I was hiding.

“Naruto, just go,” Sakura said irritably, gesturing me towards the door.

I glanced at Sasuke, but his gaze was still fixed on Sakura. “Are you-?” I started to ask.

“Go!” they both snapped at me.

So I left.

Things between Sasuke and I hadn’t been right since the night he moved out. Since he… you know. And now he was saying that as soon as his probation was over, he was going to leave the village.

It was all so stupid. I didn’t understand why things couldn’t go back to how they were before. Well, I mean like how they were after the war, not to how things were before that when we couldn’t be honest with each other and just fought all the time instead, which was basically the same as things were now.

“What happened to you?!”

I slid into the booth across from my girlfriend Moe, grinning sheepishly. “Training.”

“I’ve never had a training session like that,” she said with a laugh. She laughed a lot, smiled easily, and was in general a pleasant, happy person to be around.

_‘Easy to be happy when there’s nothing between the ears,’_ Sakura had been quick to point out.

I mostly ignored her snide little comments.

“Oh, the stupidest thing happened on our mission today,” she said, still smiling.

I felt myself smiling for some reason. All the heaviness I’d been feeling all day suddenly seemed to drop away. I leaned in closer, and listened intently to her story.

****\- 6 -** **

“I don’t agree to this,” I grumbled, slumping into Sasuke’s couch.

“Good thing it has nothing to do with you, then,” he replied, putting down a bowl of popcorn on the coffee table.

I reached for it, stuffing the popcorn into my face as angrily as I could. “It has everything to do with me!” I yelled with a full mouth.

“You are disgusting,” he informed me, giving me a light shove. “Move over.”

“There’s plenty of room,” I complained, gesturing to the open space next to me.

“Why do you always have to sit in the middle?” he asked irritably. He gave me another shove. “Sit next to the armrest like a normal person.”

“Oh, I’m a normal person now?” I asked, feigning surprise. “Because you keep telling me how weird and crazy I am for not wanting you to leave.”

“Because you are weird and crazy,” he said, sitting as close to the armrest as he could, which subsequently meant he was sitting as far away from me as possible.

“In what way am I either of those things?!” I demanded.

“You know what the village did to me,” he said, his voice low and dark.

I stopped at that. We were being serious now, no more play-fighting. “I know.” “Nothing has changed, Naruto.”

“No,” I agreed quietly. “But I’m trying.”

“You’re one man.”

“Sometimes I’m a hundred men.”

He gave me a withering look.

I reached for him then, my hand resting on his shoulder as I sought out a physical connection. “Everything that’s happened… it’s never going to happen to anyone ever again.”

“Oh, really?” he asked, looking unimpressed.

“I’m so sorry,” I said, my voice cracking.

Sasuke softened. “Don’t be like that.”

“Be like what?”

“You’re blaming yourself for something you fought tooth and nail against.”

“I couldn’t stop them.”

“Exactly.”

“Exactly what?” I asked, starting to feel blubbery. I always felt so frustrated and helpless thinking about what had happened to Sasuke in prison and how I hadn’t been able to stop it.

“If you couldn’t stop them, then no one can,” he said. “Konoha won’t change, so give up and move on. Now can we watch this damn movie already?”

If I wanted to continue the tentative peace that we’d developed over the last couple of months, then I would back off and watch the movie.

“We have to be the ones who start the change,” I said, still holding onto his shoulder and staring him down. “I need you here with me, fighting the Council, fighting all the backwards-thinking clan leaders, fighting-”

“-the hokage?” Sasuke suggested, raising an eyebrow.

I took in a breath and let it out slowly. “Baa-chan is doing what she can-”

“She approved the terms of my surrender.”

“You approved the terms of your surrender.”

“Pretty sure I didn’t agree to abuse and torture.”

“She didn’t… know…”

“The beatings, sure, even you didn’t know, and you were there to see me every day,” he said, meeting my gaze calmly. “But the constant blindfolding and the binding… you fought about it with Kakashi. He had to be reporting to her.”

“I’m sorry,” I said quietly, feeling my heart break all over again.

“All of that doesn’t matter,” he said, pushing me back into my seat. He stood up and pressed the tape into the VCR. “Ninety-eight more days and I get what I wanted.”

“…I wish you’d told me.”

“Because you were making so much headway on the blindfolding issue.”

“Yeah, but that guard…”

“And what did you do when I told you?”

I flushed. Maybe I had rushed off to the prison in a blind rage and had only come back to my senses when the guard was lying bleeding on the floor while a hysterical Sakura held me back.

“You can’t be so emotional, Naruto,” he chided me, adjusting the volume of the TV as the coming attractions played. “I was never in any danger-”

“He beat you for no reason-”

“He was scared of me,” Sasuke said with an easy shrug. “And for good reason. He could cover my eyes as much as he wanted; I could have broken out and broken him any time I wanted.”

“You didn’t have to endure all that.”

“I did.”

“You didn’t.”

“I did it for you, you dumbass,” he said, staring very pointedly at the TV.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked, feeling weirdly happy while also simultaneously pissed off.

“You’re so ignorant,” he muttered.

“Use your words,” I complained, giving him a shove.

“Use your brain,” he shot back, giving me a return shove.

This was about to dissolve into more schoolyard brawling, which I thought we had moved past, but clearly we had not. “Just explain it to me,” I said, the grip I hadn’t even realized I had on his collar loosening. “Since I’m so dumb and all.”

“You are dumb,” he agreed, his own grip relaxing.

The movie started playing, but it was just background noise now.

“You can’t be associated with a missing nin,” he finally said.

“Why not?” I asked, leaning back against the couch.

He clearly wanted to say something cutting but swallowed it back down. “I’m not going to take your future away from you,” he said, the words straining to come out.

“How-?” I started to ask.

Sasuke made a very frustrated-sounding noise. “Stop asking questions. What are you not getting? You following a missing nin around like a lost fucking puppy does not exactly instill the Council with trust in your ability to lead. So I did my fucking best to be reinstated to this bullshit village that murdered my family just so you could stop fucking up your future, and then you fucking go and still fuck it up anyway by losing your shit on that guard. You’re right, me enduring all of that really was pointless and I should have just…” he trailed off, running out of steam.

“Wait, wait, you did all this just so I could be hokage?” I asked, scratching the back of my neck.

“Go die,” he muttered.

“You are the most awful human being I have ever met,” I informed him. “Sas’, I… I mean, I don’t get it. You have so much pride, and I can’t imagine you… He hit you! He left marks on you, and you’re saying that you just put up with it so I could hypothetically be the leader of the village you hate one day?”

“I need you to be the hokage,” he said, his voice so soft it was hard to hear.

“Why?” I asked, inching closer and trying to get him to meet my eyes.

“Can you just drop it?” he asked, skillfully avoiding my gaze.

“No.”

He took in a breath and let it out loudly,

I put my hand on his knee, fingers curling into the loose fabric of his pants. “Why do you need me to be the hokage, Sas’?” I pleaded.

His eyes slid shut, a worry line forming between them. “Why can’t you just let things go?”

“Because when you keep secrets from me, our relationship gets all messed up,” I said.

“It’s not a damn secret, you’re just incapable of connecting the dots.”

“Well if it’s something I’m apparently too dumb to understand without further explanation, then you _are_ keeping it from me by not explaining.”

Air escaped from his nose in what was either a smothered laugh or an exasperated sigh.

“Naruto…”

My breath caught a little. Sasuke just had a way of saying my name.

“You’re the only one I trust, okay?” he said, eyes flicking to mine and then flicking away again. “You’re the only one who can fix everything.”

“…but you’re always telling me I can’t change anything…”

“You are very, very incompetent,” he agreed, that sideways half-smile making a reappearance on his lips. “But I… I told you. At the Valley of the End. It was my loss. I’ve thrown away my revenge to follow you.”

“You don’t… follow me in anything…” I said, not sure why my face was suddenly heating up.

“I’m not going to be one of your mindless sycophants and just agree with whatever you say and do,” he said. “And I don’t think you want me to. You know you only reach your highest potential when I’m challenging you on everything.”

“Yeah,” I said quietly, squeezing his knee. “So why are you leaving then?”

“It’s what’s best.”

“Well I don’t think it’s what’s best, so…”

“Naruto,” he said, eyes finally meeting mine without running away. “If you…” he paused, licking his lips like he was nervous. “If you really… if you ask me not to leave, then I won’t leave. I’ll listen to you and I’ll follow you, but… if you keep me here, I don’t think I can… I feel trapped, Naruto. It’s painful to be here.”

I could see the pain in his eyes, and it made my stomach knot up.

“I didn’t want to tell you all this because now you know how much power you have over me,” he said, his hand pushing against mine like he wanted me to move it, but then his fingers laced into mine. “I don’t show my weaknesses to anyone, and I feel… exposed. But I trust you with that. Do you understand me? I’m trusting you not to exploit this. I’m trusting you to do the right thing. Because if you don’t, then you’re just showing me that I was wrong and that you’re just like everyone else.”

Vulnerable Sasuke was the most cutting Sasuke. “Sneaky bastard,” I muttered, because how could I ever ask him to stay after he said all that.

“Do you understand everything now?” he asked, taking his hand back and looking away.

“No, not at all,” I said. “But I guess I get the important stuff.”

“Good. So what the hell has been happening in this movie?”

I laughed. “Rewind it.”

He got up and hit the rewind button.

“Sas’?”

“Yeah?” he asked, his back still to me as he crouched in front of the VCR.

“What if I don’t want to be hokage?”

“Don’t be stupid.”

“What if I don’t want to be, and I want to go with you?”

“Don’t be stupid,” he repeated.

I sighed loudly. “Fine.”

The tape finished rewinding and Sasuke hit play, coming back to sit next to me. He rested his head against the back of the couch, then turned to look at me.

I turned to look at him, too.

He smiled at me, soft and sweet and a little sad.

My lips parted.

He sat back up straight, attention focusing on the TV.

We watched the movie.

****\- 5 -** **

Sasuke was annoyed.

Of course, he was always annoyed when he was in Konoha, and he had to check in every six months, which meant that twice a year, Sasuke was very annoyed.

He was annoyed a lot of other times throughout the year, too, but he was particularly annoyed now.

“If you want to go and breed with your female, then just go,” he grumbled at me.

“Did you really just say ‘breed’?” Ino repeated, cracking up.

“Don’t forget ‘your female’,” Sakura chimed in, and the two of them started laughing harder.

“Hey, nothing is more important than spending time with you,” I slurred, significantly inebriated.

Rino waved at us from across the bar where she was getting more alcohol to inebriate us farther. Her boobs jiggled in her low-cut top as she did so.

I smiled dreamily.

“At least she’s a chuunin this time,” Sakura muttered, losing her amusement at the sight of a young, attractive female.

I suddenly found myself being punched in the arm. “What the hell!”

Sakura glared at me.

“You said that out loud,” Sasuke whispered to me.

“Oh…” I said. “Oops.”

Sasuke smiled at that, making me feel warm and happy.

All I had to do was act like an idiot to make him smile that amazing smile.

He looked away, flushing.

“You said that out loud, too,” Ino said, laughing.

“Umm, maybe I’m too drunk for this bar…” I trailed off as Rino reappeared with our drinks. “Thanks, babe,” I said, taking a beer from her.

She grinned at me as she passed out the rest of the drinks.

“Maybe it’s time to head home,” Sakura suggested, having finished her entire drink in one go.

“Aw, what, no way…” I complained.

“Sasuke seems tired,” Ino said.

If I wasn’t mistaken, Sasuke was shooting her a grateful look. But that was ridiculous, because Sasuke only liked me.

“People are allowed to like more than one person,” Ino informed me. “And I am very likeable.”

“Not that much,” Sasuke said, taking a casual sip of his drink.

Ino’s mouth twisted into a snarl. “To think I was going to save you from-” she started to say, but stopped.

Sasuke and Ino seemed to be having a conversation with eyes and head tilts that was completely unreadable to me.

“What’s going on?” Rino whispered to me.

“I have no idea,” I whispered back, sliding an arm around her waist.

She smiled at that, pressing closer to me even though our chairs were already plenty close together.

All of the sudden the other three were standing up.

“Okay, we’ll see you later,” Sakura said, patting me on the arm.

“Bye, ‘kura,” I said. “Bye, Ino.”

Sasuke moved to walk past me.

I caught his arm.

He looked startled, which couldn’t possibly be, because Uchiha Sasuke was never startled.

“We’re training tomorrow, yeah?”

“If you can find your way to the training field,” he said with a shrug.

“Your ass is mine, Uchiha,” I said cheerfully.

Sasuke just frowned at that, shaking me off. “Tomorrow then.”

“Bye, Sasuke,” Rino said, waving to him with a friendly smile.

He inclined his head towards her and made his exit.

Rino giggled. “He lives up to all the rumors.”

“What kinda rumors?” I asked, trying to narrow my eyes but it felt more like I was going cross-eyed.

“That he’s mysterious and hot,” she said.

“Oh,” I said, relaxing. “Yeah, he is definitely those rumors.”

Rino laughed.

“Let’s get out of here,” I suggested, and she nodded happily, linking arms with me.

We stumbled along to my place, and I somehow managed to get the door open and get us inside.

“You’re drunk,” Rino teased.

“Drunk on you,” I said, leading her to my room.

It felt different than usual.

I couldn’t stop myself, pushing her onto her stomach and staring at the white skin of her back.

“Naruto!”

I was lost, moving like an animal.

“Naruto!”

“Sasuke!”

****\- 4 -** **

“So you’re definitely not gay?” Sakura asked.

“I’m not,” I confirmed, pacing around my kitchen.

“Okay, but you called out your male best friend’s name during sex, so…”

“I don’t know why that happened.”

“Well, I mean, you were having sex, and you were thinking about Sasuke while you were having sex, so…”

“I’m not gay,” I said flatly.

“How are you so sure?”

“Because I don’t like dicks,” I explained. “And I feel like liking dicks is a very important part of being gay.”

“I mean, it could be important, but I don’t think it’s the defining factor of whether or not a person is gay,” Sakura offered. “Do those cookies have peanut butter in them?”

“They do,” I confirmed, picking up the package from the shelf and handing it to her.

“How do you even know that you don’t like dicks?” Sakura continued. “Have you ever tried touching one that wasn’t your own?”

I wrinkled my nose at her. “No, thank you.”

“How do you know you don’t like it if you don’t try it?”

“Have you touched a dick that isn’t your own?” I shot back.

Sakura gave me a withering look.

“Well?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

“A lady doesn’t stroke and tell,” she said with an enigmatic shrug.

“Sakuraaaaaa,” I groaned. “This isn’t helping.”

“There’s no help for you if you insist on staying so deeply closeted,” she replied.

“How do you just decide a person’s sexuality for them when they’re clearly telling you that you’re wrong about it?” I asked irritably.

“You’re in love with a man,” she ground out, just as irritably. “That, by definition, makes you gay.”

“I love him,” I said, waving her off. “That’s not the same as being _in love_.”

“Okay, then stop calling his name out during sex and everything will be fine.”

“…I was thinking about him…” I whispered.

She looked at me, waiting.

“…I was imagining it was him in front of me, and it just…” I trailed off. “I was drunk, it didn’t mean anything!”

“We are venturing into TMI territory here, but Naruto, you need to explain this to me,” she said, nibbling on a cookie. “Why were you thinking about Sasuke and not about your girlfriend?”

“I don’t know,” I said, shaking my head. “I really don’t. I mean, I really like Rino. She’s so nice and friendly, and she always smiles, and she’s really pretty…”

“Sounds like you’re describing me, but okay…”

“You in an alternative universe, maybe…”

“Do you want my help or not?”

“You’re very nice and friendly and pretty.”

“Thank you,” Sakura said, finishing off her cookie and pulling out another one. “I know you don’t want to hear this again-”

I groaned.

“-but you tend to date girls who don’t have a lot of substance,” she forged ahead. “And at first, it made sense because you were young and unattached…”

“I’m still both of those things…”

“Funny that you think so.”

“I am in the prime of my youth!”

“Uzumaki, you are twenty-five years old,” Sakura said, shaking her head. “Your dad was already the hokage and married with a baby on the way younger than that.”

“Like you’re dating anyone!” I cried. “I mean, who from our generation is even remotely on track to get married?!”

“And why is that?” Sakura asked, tilting her head to the side.

I looked at her.

She looked back at me.

Since the war, Sakura had been my best friend, despite me always giving the title to Sasuke. We told each other everything, whether it was easy to hear or not, and she had certainly dropped a lot of hard-to-hear truths on me over the years.

“Because we’re all traumatized from being child soldiers?” I asked.

She nodded at me.

“So I choose to date girls who I can’t form meaningful relationships with because I’m not ready to confront… something something,” I concluded.

“Close enough,” she said with a rueful smile. “I want you to be happy, you know.”

“I know,” I said, knowing better than to protest that I was happy. “I want you to be happy, too.”

“Maybe Sasuke isn’t so crazy…” she said quietly.

“Whaddya mean?”

“Maybe leaving the village…” she trailed off.

It wasn’t the first time we’d broached the topic, but we never saw it through.

“Baa-chan said the Council is thinking about making me hokage soon,” I said.

“She’s been saying that since the war ended,” Sakura said with a frown. She would always love Tsunade as much as I did, but we both knew that things weren’t right in the village. Kakashi tried to act as a go-between, but the more he asked us to compromise while literally nothing changed, the less we were inclined to.

We were both quiet.

“So your thing about dicks, is that because of the Kiba Incident?” Sakura finally asked.

“DON’T BRING THAT UP!” I shrieked.

“But I was thinking…”

“About Kiba’s dick?!”

“God, no,” Sakura said, making a face. “I was thinking about the time we were on a mission, and you were on watch while we were sleeping-”

“Sakura-chan, you stop right there.”

“-and you went to get Kiba for his watch, and he was in flagrante-”

“I told you to stop- wait, what is ‘foie gras day’?” I paused, scratching my head.

“Caught in the act, dick in hand-”

“OH MY GOD, SAKURA, STOP!” I cried, covering my eyes with my hands even though the vision was burned into my memory for the rest of time. “It was so red and angry…” I whispered.

Sakura made a face but laughed. “See, but what if it was Sasuke?”

“IT’S NO DIFFERENT!” I yelled.

“Really? ‘Cause I definitely don’t want to picture Kiba in your story, but if it were Sasuke-”

“Sakura-chan!” I cried, incensed. “Don’t sully our Sasuke like that.”

“He’s an emotionally stunted asshole, but he’s still eye candy,” Sakura said with a shrug.

“Okay, but you clearly like dicks,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

“‘Like’ is a strong word,” she said, shaking her head. “I tolerate them.”

“Gross,” I muttered, and then unbidden the image of Kiba in the tent reappeared in my mind, only with Sasuke’s face floating over Kiba’s. I gagged. “Nope, nope, nope.”

“I don’t understand you,” Sakura said, shaking her head. “So if Sasuke was like in between your legs right now going down on you, you’d be absolutely disgusted just because he’s a guy?”

Sakura certainly painted a picture, because now there Sasuke was between my legs, mouth full, eyes creased in concentration before suddenly darting up to meet my gaze. He smirked, and I felt my entire body shudder.

“You got turned on!” Sakura accused me, pointing her finger.

“I… did…” I trailed off, thoroughly confused.

Her expression softened. “I’m not trying to push you into something,” she said, patting my head. “I just... I look at you two, and I wish that someone would love me the way you two love each other.”

“Sakura,” I complained, shaking my head. “You know I love you.”

“You wanna marry me?”

“Definitely not.”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t want to marry Sasuke either,” I pointed out.

“Yeah, but you want him to blow you.”

“Oh my god, Sakura, never say that out loud again!”

She shrugged.

“Sakura-chaaaaaaan,” I whined.

“I won’t,” she said, serious again. She hopped onto the counter and put her arm around me. “I won’t bring any of this up again, okay? I promise. We’ll only talk about it if _you_ bring it up.”

“Which I won’t,” I said, but I could _feel_ her side-eyeing me. “Unless I picture him in fois gras day again.”

Sakura cracked up.

****\- 3 -** **

I woke up on Sasuke’s floor, a blanket tossed over me. I groaned, sitting up and stretching my aching back. “Sas’?” I called.

He didn’t answer me because he was an asshole, but I could hear water running in the kitchen.

I stumbled to my feet and took a quick stop at the restroom before stumbling the rest of the way to the kitchen. “Saaaasukeeeeee,” I whined, dropping onto one of his kitchen chairs. “What did you make me drink last night?”

“Don’t blame me for your bad decisions,” he said with a shrug.

I squinted at his shirtless back, watching as he moved around preparing breakfast. “Hey, you,” I said.

“Hey what?” he asked, cracking an egg over the frying pan with one hand.

“When’d you get all… manly?” I complained.

“This might surprise you, but I’ve always been a man.”

“No, no, no,” I said, shaking my head. “You were a _boy_ before. You had some muscles and all, but not all this finely-chiseled definition. You look like a freaking statue that some old statue guy would make.”

“‘Old statue guy?’” he muttered incredulously, flipping the eggs.

“You know what I mean!” I said, flailing my arms around.

“No, not really.”

I sighed loudly. “I wish I looked like you.”

“Why?” he asked, genuinely perplexed.

“Your body is amazing.”

“Are you fishing for compliments or something?” he mumbled.

“Huh?”

He stayed silent, his back rigid.

I had as usual stumbled into the ‘danger zone’.

I found myself stumbling into it more and more since the whole Wrong Name Incident. It wasn’t like I was trying to flirt with Sasuke all the time. It happened by accident. I was really just trying to give the guy a compliment and express my jealousy over the fact that his body was a work of art.

...was that gay…?

I stared at those rippling back muscles, mesmerized.

Then I was having eggs slammed down in front of me.

Sasuke sat across from me, stabbing his food with what seemed to be much more force than necessary for something that was already dead. “You’ve grown up, too, you know,” he finally mumbled.

“I have?” I asked with a mouth full of food.

“Swallow.”

I swallowed.

“I take it back,” he said, not looking at me.

“No takesy-backsies.”

“This is how you convince me that you’ve grown up?”

“…yes…?”

There was that half-smile.

I grinned, shoveling my food in my mouth and feeling content.

****\- 2 -** **

Sakura came into the restaurant, looking around furtively before her eyes locked on mine. She made a beeline in our direction.

“Hey-” I tried to greet her.

“Sasuke is here.”

I blinked slowly, then broke out into a grin. “Really? He’s early!”

“He’s _pissed_ ,” she said, trying to drag down my good mood.

“About Tsunade trying to give him that mission?”

“He told her he doesn’t take orders from Konoha,” Sakura rushed on. “So she said, ‘then maybe you don’t need the immunity that your Konoha headband gives you,’ and then he did his sneer face, you know the one, and he said, ‘make Naruto hokage or I walk.’”

“Whaaaaat?” I cried.

“And Tsunade was playing it cool, like, ‘well, walk then,’ and Sasuke said, ‘I walk, he walks.’”

I stared at her. “…and then?”

“He stormed out of there without waiting for a reply in typical over-dramatic Sasuke fashion,” she concluded.

I groaned.

“Who’s Sasuke?” my girlfriend Naomi asked cheerfully.

We both looked at her.

“What do you mean, ‘who is Sasuke’?” Sakura finally asked incredulously.

“He’s my best friend…” I tried.

“Oh, the weird guy who’s never around?” she asked.

“Yes,” Sakura said, nodding her head and tugging on my arm.

“He’s not weird!” I cried, feeling offended.

“We need to mediate this before it turns into something bigger,” Sakura urged me.

“But I was-” I started to say, glancing over at Naomi. Then I realized that we were talking about Sasuke and felt myself rising out of the booth, date long forgotten.

Naomi looked at me, confused. “Naruto?”

“Rain check!” I called, already moving after Sakura.

She turned back after we got onto the street. “Where do you think he went?”

“Training grounds,” I said, nodding my head in their direction.

“Okay,” she said, taking to the rooftops.

Sasuke was there as expected, angrily setting things on fire with his katon.

“Are we talking him down or beating sense into him?” Sakura asked, cracking her knuckles.

“Oi, Sasuke!” I yelled.

Sasuke stopped setting things on fire.

Sakura shook her head.

He sat down on the grass, and we came over to sit on either side of him.

“I didn’t know you were here,” I said, nudging his side with my elbow.

“I had business with the hokage,” he replied with a shrug.

“ _Business,_ ” Sakura grumbled.

“You know I’m right,” he grumbled right back at her.

“Of course I know!” she snapped. “But if what you’re saying to Tsunade-sama gets back to to the wrong person, you’re going straight back into the Bingo Book! And then what?!”

“I can take care of myself.”

“You know if you leave the village again that we’re going to follow you,” Sakura muttered.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at that. “Do I know that?”

“You know that Naruto will,” she said dismissively.

“I didn’t know that you would.”

Sakura shook her head. “Underestimating me like usual.”

“Underestimating that you wouldn’t be as dumb as Naruto?” Sasuke asked. “Yes.”

There was a pause, and then Sasuke grunted and I knew that Sakura had inflicted some kind of hurt on him.

“Sas’, it’s just reconnaissance,” I said, hoping to change the direction of the conversation.

The glare I received did not ease my mind.

“And what is the illustrious Council going to use that reconnaissance for?” he ground out. “Because you know they’re stirring up shit with Lightning again.”

“Sas’…”

“The whole point is that you become the hokage and stop all this nonsense,” Sasuke said. “It’s the whole point, and the Council knows, and they know that as long as they keep dangling the carrot and saying that they’ll make you hokage one day that I have to do whatever they tell me. They fucking own me, and I can’t… I can’t breathe, I can’t…”

I was at a loss.

Sakura put her arm around Sasuke, and he leaned into her, away from me.

This was all my fault. I had let this drag on, I had accepted all the _soon_ ’s and the _be patient_ ’s. I looked at my two best friends, both hurting, and I knew that I couldn’t keep on just going with the flow.

“I’ve got you,” I said, standing up.

“What does that mean…?” Sakura trailed off as I walked away.

“Naruto.”

I stopped and turned back to look at them.

“Don’t do something stupid,” Sasuke said, already on his feet.

“Just trust me,” I said. I grinned at him. “I’ve got this.”

****\- 1 -** **

Sasuke unzipped the flap of the tent, his toiletries tucked in a bag under his arm as he entered. “You’re not asleep?” he asked.

“You’d think I would be, with how friggin’ long you take to get ready for bed,” I complained.

“I was checking the perimeter, dumbass,” he replied, putting his things away in his pack.

“He’s over here calling me ‘dumbass’,” I muttered.

“He’s over there talking to himself,” came his easy reply.

“Okay, but would it kill you to show me like a modicum of respect?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“It would not!” I cried.

“Oh, but it would,” he said, getting into his sleeping bag. “Good night, _Junior Hokage._ ”

“Okay, see, you’re still alive.”

Sasuke didn’t answer.

“Very alive and not dead.”

He still didn’t answer.

“Jackass,” I complained, throwing my pillow at him.

He caught it and threw it back at me, amusement twinkling in his eyes.

I melted a little.

“What’s that stupid look for?” Sasuke scoffed at me.

“What look? There’s no stupid look!” I protested

He rolled his eyes at me. “You have clearly never seen your own face.”

I gave him the most shocked and offended look I could muster up.

His haughtiness softened around the edges, the left corner of his mouth twitching upward. “Sorry, _sir_.”

I bit my lip a little too hard.

Sasuke looked pleased with himself as he settled more comfortably into his sleeping bag.

I tried to pull myself together, but being on a mission in close proximity to him was starting to become a mission in its own right. The Council had agreed to my three-year transition plan, and had begrudgingly accepted Sasuke as my ‘chief adviser’ or whatever they were calling his job to make an Uchiha in power sound more palatable.

What they didn’t get and never would get was that Sasuke was my partner.

_“_ _You lead and I_ _’_ _ll follow,_ _”_ he’d told me the night it was decided that I was the hokage-elect.

_“_ _Like you_ _’_ _ve ever followed anyone a day in your life,_ _”_ I’d scoffed.

Four months into the transition, and Sasuke had yet to just do something because I told him to. That wasn’t what he meant by following me. What he meant was that I could tell him to do something, and then he would give me ten reasons why he wasn’t going to do it.

And it was exactly what I needed. I felt re-energized. I felt hopeful. I felt like I was making a difference.

And I felt like I was probably most definitely in love with Sasuke.

“Are you going to sleep?” he asked.

My eyes flicked over to him nervously.

He gave me a strange look. “I’m sleeping,” he said, rolling so his back was to me.

“Don’t be boring,” I complained.

“You’re the one who dragged us out to this god-forsaken place to do charity work,” he grumbled at me.

We’d had this conversation a hundred times already, but with us, what was a hundred more? “You said that I need to change what it means to be the hokage,” I said.

“Okay, but you could change what it means to be hokage somewhere… better.”

“Somewhere _better_?” I asked with a snort. “Are the accommodations not to your liking?”

“I’m just saying that helping some podunk little village rebuild from flooding isn’t going to do anything for you politically,” he said, sitting up and running a hand through his hair.”

“Uh, duh,” I said.

He looked at me.

“That’s exactly the kind of hokage I want to be,” I said, smiling happily. “Someone who helps people for no reason or personal gain.”

“Stellar strategy, I’m sure the Council won’t find a way to back out of your agreement and make someone else hokage.”

“You know you support me one hundred percent,” I said with an easy shrug.

“Maybe one percent.”

“Ninety-nine percent.”

“Zero percent?”

“One hundred and fifty percent!”

Sasuke was shaking his head, but I could see his smile.

I lived for that smile. “Hey, Sas’?”

“What?”

I looked at him. I really looked at him. I wanted to tell him.

“Did your brain break?” he asked. He stifled a yawn.

“Probably,” I said.

That got a little laugh. “Go to bed, Naruto.”

“Yeah,” I said, settling into my sleeping bag. “Good night.”

Sasuke snapped off the light we had hanging in the tent.

I lay there, staring into the dark, and it was driving me crazy.

“Stop,” Sasuke finally grumbled.

“Stop what?” I whispered.

“Whatever you’re doing.”

“Breathing?”

“Yes, stop doing that.”

“Do you want me to die?!” I snipped.

“Why are you so damn loud in the middle of the night?” Sasuke sighed.

“You’re the one wishing death on me!”

“Just get it out, already,” Sasuke said irritably. “Obviously something is on your mind.”

“No, I don’t think so,” I protested.

“Then why are you all… frenetic?” he asked.

“Who’s frenetic, I’m not frenetic.”

“I can hear your leg bouncing,” he muttered.

I hadn’t realized I’d been doing that, and I quickly stilled my leg. Then I found that my fingers were tapping against the ground.

“It’s not like you,” Sasuke said quietly.

“Huh?”

“You don’t usually…” he trailed off, thinking over his words carefully. “You don’t usually keep things from me.”

Why did this man know me better than I knew myself? “Sorry,” I mumbled.

“I really don’t care. Just say it or go to sleep,” he said, but I had the feeling that he did actually care.

I opened my mouth and nothing came out.

“I’m going to sleep outside,” Sasuke growled.

“No, you’re not,” I said with a sigh. “I just… I’m not ready to say it.”

“Well get ready or figure out how to stop crawling out of your skin.”

I’d planned this. Not consciously, but now I could see how my sneaky subconscious had brought us to this point, alone on a mission just the two of us, sleeping in the same tent like we used to when we were twelve, with no one to interrupt us until the construction started in the morning. I wanted to tell him. I _needed_ to tell him.

But should I tell him?

I thought back to the night that Sasuke moved into his own apartment, both of us a little drunk, the gentle touch of his lips to mine. Then the betrayal in his eyes when I told him that I wasn’t gay.

I wasn’t, but apparently it didn’t matter. I’d been too young and dumb at the time to realize it.

Sasuke was special.

Maybe I could just tell him that without getting into the whole _calling his name while I was with women, and having almost daily sex dreams about him_ part.

I mean, he probably wouldn’t care, anyway. That kiss had been like ten years ago, and surely he had moved on since then. It wasn’t like he… stayed connected with a village he hated just because of me…

It wasn’t like he only smiled for me. I saw him almost smile at Sakura once. It was the smallest uptick. Nothing compared to the crooked smiles he showered me with, but…

“I’m going to slowly choke the life out of you,” Sasuke informed me, suddenly sitting on my chest with a hand wrapped around my throat.

“Uhhh…?” I said.

“You are so fucking annoying,” he ground out, applying light pressure. “What? What is it? Just say it.”

“Well, you’re kinda making it more awkward,” I squeaked out.

“Good,” he growled. “What did you do? What stupid thing did you do? Did you forget to do some important paperwork? Did you tell Sakura that her hospital clothes make her look like an middle-aged woman after I specifically told you not to? Did you piss off the Council and they decided to just cancel your whole hokage probation? Just tell me already.”

“Um, it wasn’t any of that,” I gasped.

Sasuke rolled his eyes, letting up on my throat and sitting back a little. “You’re still going to be the hokage in three years?”

“Duh.”

His expression relaxed and he gave me one of those smiles that, okay, were only for me.

I felt myself smiling back.

He pinched my cheek, then moved to go back to his sleeping bag.

I caught his hips, pulling him back.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at me. “You into being sat on?”

“Yes,” I replied without thinking.

“That’s an odd fetish,” he said, his eyes searching mine.

I should just say it. What could be a more perfect moment than this? I should definitely just say it.

“Naruto.”

I swallowed. “I’m.”

He waited.

I nodded my head.

His brow lifted.

“So,” I said.

He tilted his head to the side.

“Good,” I said.

“Did your brain break?” he finally asked.

“Yeah…” I said quietly. “Can you… come down here?”

Both of Sasuke’s eyebrows shot up. “Down where…?”

“Next to me,” I said, letting go of his hips.

He looked at me for a moment, then slid down beside me, propping his chin up on his hand as he lay on his side facing me.

I just had to get it out. I opened my mouth, and then remembered that I needed to get it out, but in a way that wasn’t going to piss Sasuke off. That’s what kept on silencing me. “I’ve been confused lately,” I said, deciding to be as honest as possible.

“How is that different from usual?” he asked.

“Are all the little zings really necessary?” I grumbled.

“The way you’ve been dragging this out, yes.”

“Okay, fine,” I said.

“Better be worth it,” he muttered.

“I love you!” I blurted out.

“Okay,” Sasuke said. “That’s not getting you out of telling me whatever horrible secret you’re hiding.”

“No, that’s the horrible secret,” I explained.

Sasuke let out a sudden bark of laughter. “What kind of secret is that?”

His sheer good-naturedness told me that he didn’t get what I was saying. “Sasuke, I’m _in_ love with you,” I tried saying.

A little of the humor left his eyes. “What’s this about?”

“It’s about me being in love with you,” I said, feeling stupid and small.

“You’re not gay, Naruto,” he said flatly.

“No, I’m not,” I agreed.

Sasuke’s frown deepened. “I’m a man, Naruto.”

“I’m aware,” I said, trying to exude sincerity.

“Then do you see why what you’re saying is ridiculous?” he asked, sitting up. His arms crossed over his chest, a physical sign that he was starting to close himself off.

I sat up, too. “I know it doesn’t make sense, okay? I’m not gay, and you’re a man, but I love you so much it’s crazy.”

“That’s one word for it.”

“Yeah, it is, because I don’t get it, okay?” I said. “I don’t know why I feel this way about you, but I do. And I’ve asked you to do this huge thing and be my partner when I become hokage, but I can’t start off the new Konoha lying to you, yeah? I have to be honest or this is never going to work, and honestly I’m in love with you. So. Yeah.”

Sasuke was staring at me, and definitely not in a good way.

“Sas’…” I tried.

“I fucking hate you,” he whispered.

Oh, fuck.

“You piece of shit,” he said, his voice getting louder. “You fucking piece of shit. Don’t you ever fucking say another word about this to me ever again.”

I knew all along that he was going to react badly, but I didn’t really know _why_ he would. If I asked him why, he was going to react even more badly, so I was kind of stuck just staring at him pathetically.

“Do you hear me?” he growled, grabbing me by my shirt and staring me down. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”  
“…no?” I said quietly.

He shook me, then dropped my shirt in disgust, standing up in a crouch in the low tent. “I need to go.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, trying to get him to stay.

“Fuck your sorry!” Sasuke snapped at me. “And fuck you,” he added for good measure.

“Do you think I’m joking with you or something?” I asked, not used to being the target of Sasuke’s venom after so many years. “Do you think I’m not being sincere?”

“Of course you’re not being sincere!” he yelled. “What kind of straight man tells another man that he loves him?”

“What, just because I’m not gay, I can’t have feelings for you?!” I cried, standing up and crouching in front of him. A tent was a terrible place to have an argument.

“Yes, Naruto!” he said. “That’s exactly what it fucking means! Not being gay means that you are not attracted to men, you dumb shit!”

“Okay, but maybe consider that I’m Sasuke-sexual!” I snapped.

Sasuke opened his mouth but then immediately closed it. He sat down on his sleeping bag and stared up at me. “Sasuke… sexual…” he repeated, shaking his head.

“I am…” I tried to assert.

“There’s no such thing as Sasuke-sexual!” he yelled, but he wasn’t as mad anymore, and I felt some of the tension release from my shoulders.

I sat down across from him. “Well, that’s what Sakura said…”

“Sakura knows about this?”

“Well, I told her about all the sex stuff, so…”

“What. Sex. Stuff.”

I could feel my face burning. “Just sex stuff. About you. Um. Sexy dreams and uh… other stuff.”

“I don’t like it,” he said. “I don’t like it,” he repeated. “Naruto, don’t do this to me. Please.”

“I’m not doing anything to you,” I protested, feeling a little annoyed now. “I’m telling you how I feel. That’s more than you’ve ever done.”

He looked like I’d slapped him. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“No, Sasuke, I’m not fucking kidding you,” I said irritably. “You kissed me, and then you ran away. You acted like it never happened. And maybe if you had used your goddamn _words_ instead, we could have figured some of this shit out.”

“You told me you weren’t gay!” he yelled, getting mad again.

“Yeah, and it’s pretty fucking weird that a non-gay guy was so cool with his gay best friend kissing him, wasn’t it?!” I snapped.

“You told me you weren’t gay,” he repeated, his voice getting softer. “You humiliated me.”

I was gobsmacked. “I _humiliated_ you?”

“I was so sure you felt the same way about me,” he said. “I was so sure, and then you pushed me away and said you weren’t gay, and I felt so… beneath you. Like you were looking down on the poor little queer, telling me that it didn’t matter and you would forgive me-”

“I never said that-”

“Oh, okay, then how am I supposed to interpret all your little good-guy speeches about how it wouldn’t affect our friendship, how you still looked at me the same, whatever bullshit you came out with that clearly said that I’d done something wrong, but you were such a great guy that you would just overlook it?”

“That’s not what I meant…” I mumbled feebly. “You just gave me this look like… I _betrayed_ you, and I kept rambling, trying to make sure you wouldn’t just throw me away…”

“You threw me away,” he muttered.

“Sasuke…”

“So you suddenly want to fuck me now?”

“I…” I trailed off, feeling strange.

“No, really, tell me all about these sex dreams you’ve been having about me after telling me you weren’t gay.”

I was red again.

“Do you picture me with a pussy so you can stomach it?” he growled.

“No...” I said, cringing. “Sas’, it’s not like that.”

“Then what is it like?”

“Is that the most important thing to fixate on when I’m telling you that I love you?” I asked. This conversation was getting way off course.

“I just want to understand what a straight man sees in me,” he replied, eyes meeting mine in an unwavering stare.

“Oh, that’s easy,” I said, relaxing. “You’re strong, you’re smart, you’re nice when you want to be, you’re good at making ramen, you fight for the people you love, you always stand up for what’s right even if it’s hard…”

“…none of those sound like romantic attraction,” Sasuke muttered.

“What, do you want me to tell you how attractive I find you?”

“Honestly, I think you just want to be me and are confusing that with physical attraction,” Sasuke said with a shrug.

I gaped at him. “Jerk, who would want to be you?!” I snapped.

He smiled at that. “You.”

“Ohmigod, you are the most narcissistic asshole on the face of this earth!”

He shrugged again.

“Please explain to me how it makes more sense that I want to be you than I want to be in you,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

Sasuke startled at that.

I thought back over what I’d just said carefully. “Uhhh, I mean… be _with_ you…?”

“Do you even know how gay sex works?” he asked, eyes very carefully not meeting mine.

“I researched it,” I said confidently.

“And you’re just fine with it?” he asked.

I swallowed. “I… don’t know if I’m ready for everything, but… I’m very interested in some of it.”

“You’re very interested in some of it?” Sasuke scoffed. “Which parts? Please do elaborate.”

I was red again. “Is that what you want to hear?”

“Most definitely.”

“I mean, how much detail…?”

“All the details.”

“ _All_ the details?”

“ _All_ the details.”

“I mean, do I start with you, um…”

“With me _what_?” Sasuke asked, clearly starting to feel back in control as he looked me in the eyes.

“Well I guess um… you know… with your mouth…”

“So you’d like to get blown,” Sasuke said, nodding his head.

“I mean… yes…?”

“Interesting, and were you planning on returning the favor?”

I looked at the ground. “If you wanted me to, I could… try.”

“So really you just want me to suck you off and then you give me a pat on the head for a job well done?”

“You asked me what I was interested in and I told you,” I growled, crossing my arms over my chest. “This is all new to me, I’m not a professional gay like you.”

Sasuke very slowly raised an eyebrow.

This was already a disaster, and I seemed to be adding more flames to the fire. “Forget it. Forget everything I said.”

“Oh, are we just going to pretend that this didn’t happen?” Sasuke asked in that jackass tone of voice of his.

“Yes,” I said. “We’re going to go to sleep and wake up tomorrow in a world where I never said anything, and then I’m going to tell you in a non-offensive way that I love you, and you will graciously listen to me and shake my hand at the end and agree that you don’t mind me having feelings for you and that you still want to work with me to build the new Konoha.”

He didn’t say anything at first, and I held my breath waiting.

Then I needed air and pulled it in with a loud gasp.

“Idiot,” he grumbled.

I gave him my biggest, roundest puppy dog eyes.

“You’re serious?” he asked, his voice taking on a vulnerable quality.

I nodded my head enthusiastically.

“Okay,” he said, getting back into his sleeping bag. “Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow!” I agreed, clamoring back into my own sleeping bag. “So…”

“So?”

“We’re… okay?”

“Well, we’re pretending nothing happened, so we can also pretend that we’re okay,” Sasuke reasoned.

“Saaaaasukeeeeeee,” I complained. “I’m sorry,” I added.

“Sorry for what?”

“For my behavior for the last… fifteen-ish years.”

“You’re going to need a lot more sorries than that.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, as sincerely as I could.

“Weirdo.”

“I know.”

Sasuke sighed. Or maybe he was taking a breath. “Naruto?”

“Yeah?”

“Tomorrow…”

“Mm?”

“When you tell me whatever it is that you have to tell me…”

“Uh-huh?”

“What if I…” he trailed off and was silent.

“Tell me tomorrow,” I said.

“Okay.”

I slept fitfully, constantly waking up to every little noise. The ground was more uncomfortable than usual, and I found myself constantly shifting and readjusting.

It was barely what could be called morning when I opened my eyes and found Sasuke right in front of me.

“Tell me the thing,” he said quietly.

“I’m in love with you,” I said, still half-asleep but never surer of anything in my life.

“Not just as friends?”

“Definitely not just as friends,” I said, trying to blink my eyes awake.

“Promise?” he asked, looking into my eyes.

“Promise,” I said, looking back and smiling.

He took a breath and shifted closer, then stopped. His eyes kept staring into mine, asking a silent question.

I didn’t want to misread him, but it seemed like the longer I hesitated, the more anxious his expression got. I reached out, curling my fingers gently behind his neck and pulling him in until we were sharing air. “I promise,” I repeated.

“Okay,” he said, his voice soft.

We just breathed together, both of us about to have mutual nervous breakdowns.

“Naruto,” he said, and there were those eyes again.

All I had to do to answer the question…

It was the most tentative brush of lips in the history of brushing lips, but Sasuke endured it silently.

I looked at him.

He looked back at me.

I wanted him to talk to me. I wanted him to tell me exactly what he expected. What he wanted. But in this moment, I knew there was no way that he would expose himself like that. I had to be the one to take the risks. I had to be the one to be vulnerable. And it was scary. It was really scary, and my breathing was getting more and more erratic, but Sasuke was just looking back at me and waiting, so I knew what I had to do and I kissed him like I meant it.

It was sparks.

It was fireworks.

It was home.

****\- 0 -** **

Naruto was spread-eagled across our bed like the whole damn thing belonged to him.

I sighed, dropping my travel bag on the floor before giving him a light kick.

He grumbled and shifted over about an inch.

“Uzumaki, you need to move,” I growled, peeling my shirt over my head and tossing it into the hamper.

“But I’m comfy,” he mumbled, smacking his lips sleepily.

“Get comfy somewhere else,” I complained, adding my pants to the hamper and walking over to the dresser. The room was dark, so I felt along in the drawer with my hand until I found my nightclothes.

Naruto made some incoherent sound that probably meant he had gone back to sleep.

He worked hard every day, and I hated how tired he always was, but I had just traveled eighteen hours straight to get home, and he needed to move his ass over.

Dressed and ready for bed, I gave his bottom a much more significant kick that jarred him enough away from my side of the bed that I could squeeze in.

I don’t know why I bothered, because he immediately rolled right back over, wrapping himself around me.

“Hey,” he said, kissing my shoulder sleepily. “I missed you.”

I was ready to be annoyed, but our bed was comfortable, Naruto was warm, and it was nice to be home.

“How was your mission?” he hummed into my skin.

“The usual.”

“That’s a pretty crappy mission report.”

“Well, you’re a pretty crappy hokage.”

“What is wrong with you?” he snorted, nudging me until I turned on my side to face him. “Show your hokage-to-be some respect.”

“No,” I said, which only seemed to make him smile even wider.

Naruto didn’t mind my shit when he knew I didn’t mean it. He rested his hand against my cheek, grinning dopily.

“I missed you, too,” I finally acknowledged, giving him a chaste kiss at the corner of his mouth.

His face lit up and I found myself being aggressively cuddled.

Our breathing started to even out as we both drifted towards sleep.

In moments like this, our relationship was easy, but when we woke up in the morning, the world would come crashing back in and everything would be complicated again.

“It’s in less than a week,” Naruto said, breaking up the silence.

I breathed in sharply, coming fully awake again. “Yeah, it is,” I agreed.

“Will you stay home more?”

I couldn’t answer that.

Naruto sighed, kissing the top of my head. “I need you,” he said quietly. “I’m not… I can’t do this on my own, ya know?”

“I know,” I said. I was the one who’d put the responsibility of changing the entire ninja world on his shoulders. I just found it easier to support his ideals when I was as far away from Konoha as possible. “I’m here now.”

“…for how long?”

I took a breath, weighing my answer so it didn’t turn into a fight. “Until you send me on another mission.”

“Okay,” he said, rubbing his cheek against mine. “Sorry for keepin’ you up, I just… every time I start to fall asleep, my mind starts goin’ a million miles a minute…”

I took his hand that was resting on my hip and laced our fingers together.

Naruto relaxed, some of his nervous energy dissipating.

“You’ll be a great hokage,” I said quietly.

“If I make it to my inauguration without being assassinated…”

“That’s the spirit.”

“…is that why you rushed back here so quickly?” he asked.

“I didn’t rush,” I said, despite how obvious it was that I had.

“Aw, did you wanna proteeeeect me?” Naruto cooed.

“Idiot,” I muttered. Of course I wanted to protect him. He had almost as many enemies as I did now after all his campaigns for reform. He also had just as many loyal allies willing to lay down their lives for him, but try as I might I just couldn’t trust anyone else to watch his back. I had to be here, making sure that nothing happened to stop Naruto’s becoming the sixth hokage.

He was smiling at me dopily, reading my thoughts clearly. “Tomorrow morning, I’m gonna totally rock your world, okay?”

I rolled my eyes at that. “Okay, let me get out my day planner and pencil in a world rocking from 7:00 to 7:02.”

The look on his face was priceless.

“Saaaaasukeeeee,” he whined.

“Go to sleep, Naruto,” I said, squeezing his hand. I was always being meaner to him than necessary, but he understood.

“I’ll try,” he said, snuggling into me.

Fuck, he was adorable and more than I deserved.

I tended to be insecure about our relationship, and that led to me being an unnecessary asshole. Our sex life was especially complicated, and we still had to tread lightly sometimes. If I didn’t like something that we were doing and promptly informed Naruto, he would immediately stop, give me a kiss, and do something different. If Naruto informed me that he didn’t like something, I took it as a personal insult against myself and my lineage that needed to be avenged immediately.

Naruto dealt with the fact that he was a straight man in a gay relationship better than I did. ‘Heteroflexible’ he called it.

Not that Naruto was always perfect and kind and understanding. We fought at times, mostly about the village. He sometimes forgot to take off his rose-colored glasses and remember what had been done to him by the people claiming to have his best interests at heart. No matter how many times I tried to convince him that the Third Hokage had neglected him, he refused to hear it.

I wanted Naruto to recognize the wrongs done to him, but that was a losing battle.

Much faster to just remind him that the Third Hokage covered up the slaughter of my family.

Naruto always got pissed off on my behalf.

Maybe one day we’d work out all of our psychological issues, but until then I just wanted him to understand that condemning the atrocities of one’s followers while helping them to cover it all up did not a good leader make.

I don’t know why I worried. Naruto was already the best hokage Konoha had ever seen, and he hadn’t even officially taken the title yet. Because in the end, Naruto always did the right thing.

I held him close, listening to his obnoxious snoring. It lulled me into sleep, my eyes sliding shut.

We didn’t have it all figured it out yet, but we’d figure it out together.

Starting with a _world rocking_ promptly at 7:00, apparently.

I stayed curled up in bed as Naruto shuffled around after, getting read for work.

“You sure you don’t want breakfast or anything?” he asked softly, the mattress dipping under his weight.

I mumbled something that probably resembled “no” and buried myself deeper in the blankets. I felt the warmth of his hand as he touched my cheek, my eyes staying firmly shut.

“Okay, I’m off to save the world now.”

A little smile twitched at my lips.

“Love you,” he said, leaning in and pressing his lips to my temple. “Come in before noon with your mission report, or you’re fired!”

My smile got a little wider. Naruto’s fake power trips were cute, mostly due to how obviously fake they were. “Like you would ever fire me,” I hummed.

“Try me,” he said, his voice teasing. He pat my head, fingers running through my hair lingeringly before disappearing. “See you at eleven fifty-nine.”

I scoffed, because I certainly hadn’t been planning to arrive exactly one minute before the deadline he gave me just to be contrary. “Bye.”

“Bye!” he called, his voice drifting in from the hallway.

I listened until his steps disappeared and the front door closed.

Naruto had seemed so lost and aimless after the war, never knowing which direction to go in. Ever since that day in the training field, though, when he forced the Council’s hand to name him officially as the sixth hokage... Ever since that day, it was like Naruto had finally gotten on the path he was always meant to be on. He moved with purpose again, his inner light filling him up after being dim for so long.

That light illuminated my own path.

I was still working on myself, trying to sort out the anger and the loss and the helplessness and the longing for revenge that never quite went away, but when I watched Naruto moving forward with no trace of doubt, it was like I could see my own path forward.

Naruto’s face was priceless as Shizune let me into the hokage’s office.

“You’re… early…” he said, glancing at the clock which read, ‘9:01’.

“I like to keep you on your toes,” I said, striding across the room and dumping my mission report on Naruto’s little desk that was pulled up next to Tsunade’s. I didn’t spare her a glance, because it had long since been established that I only answered to Naruto.

“Consider me toed,” he said, raising his leg over his desk and pointing his toes.

Everyone in the room stared at him.

Naruto laughed his stupid laugh, and I felt myself almost smiling.

This idiot was going to be the hokage in five days, and I would move heaven and earth to make sure he was the greatest hokage Konoha ever saw.


End file.
